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People benefit immensely when they have close relationship partners who are instrumental (i.e., helpful) to their goal pursuit. However, little is known about whatmotivatespartners’ continued instrumentality. Research on gratitude led us to examine whether, when, and why receiving expressions of gratitude for one’s instrumentality would increase people’s intentions to be instrumental to their romantic partner’s goal(s) in the future (future instrumentality intentions [FIIs]). In a correlational study (Study 1) and two experiments in which we manipulated expressed gratitude (Studies 2 and 3), gratitude receipt positively predicted FIIs. This finding persisted regardless of whether partners achieved their goal (Study 3). We identify potential mechanisms and show that gratitude receipt is particularly important for boosting FIIs among people in lower (vs. higher) quality relationships. These findings serve as a foundation for research examining antecedents to instrumentality and considering long-term consequences of gratitude receipt for support processes in romantic relationships. 

Receiving high-quality support confers many benefits. Yet, little is known about how support-seekers can elicit high-quality support. In two experiments and a couples’ interaction study, we examined how (and why) expressing negative thoughts and feelings affects romantic partners’ support and considered whether this depends on the severity of the stressor the support-seeker is facing. In Study 1, romantically involved participants who read a high (vs. low)-negative expressivity support-seeking text message wrote higher-quality support responses in both serious and trivial stressor contexts. Study 2 conceptually replicated these effects with new stressors. In Study 3, support-seekers who expressed more (vs. less) negativity during a face-to-face conversation with their romantic partner about a recent stressor received support higher in regulatory effectiveness (an index of support quality). Mediation analyses in Studies 2 and 3 suggested that negativity may enhance support, even for trivial stressors, by increasing provider perceptions that support is needed. 

Receiving high-quality, responsive support in times of distress is critical but difficult. In a theoretical review, we previously proposed a process model that explains why support-seekers’ positive expressivity can elicit—but may sometimes suppress—supportive responses from partners (providers) within distress-related contexts. In the current work, we aimed to test direct and indirect pathways linking seeker’s positive expressivity in negative disclosures to provider’s support while addressing notable gaps in the existing literature. Studies considered seeker-expressed positivity as broad, unitary construct (Studies 1, 2, and 4) and explored different types of positivity (Studies 1, 3, and 4): partner-oriented positivity (e.g., gratitude), stressor-oriented positivity (e.g., optimism), and unspecified positivity (e.g., pleasant demeanor). In behavioral observation studies of romantic couples (Studies 1 and 4), seeker-expressed positivity in negative disclosures positively predicted provider responsiveness, even when controlling for seeker-expressed negativity and other plausible third variables. Online experiments with manipulations of seeker-expressed positivity (Studies 2 and 3) yielded causal evidence of positivity’s direct support-eliciting effects. Considering positivity types, partner-oriented positivity and stressor-oriented positivity showed the most robust support-eliciting potential; unspecified positivity also appeared valuable in some contexts. Evidence for several of the model’s indirect pathways emerged in correlational (Study 4) and experimental (Studies 2 and 3) work, providing insights into support-eliciting and support-suppressing mechanisms through which positivity operates. These findings underscore support-seekers’ active role in obtaining support, highlight the value of positive expressivity for eliciting high-quality support, and lay the groundwork for further research on positive expressivity’s effects in support-seeking contexts. 

Building intimate relationships is rewarding but entails risking rejection. Trait self-esteem—a person's overall self-evaluation—has important implications for how people behave in socially risky situations. Integrating established models of responsiveness and intimacy with theory and research on self-esteem, we present a model that highlights the ways in which self-esteem impacts intimacy-building. A review of relevant research reveals that compared to people with high self-esteem, people with low self-esteem exhibit interpersonal perceptions and behaviors that can hinder intimacy development—for example, disclosing less openly, and eliciting and perceiving less responsiveness from others. We identify important directions for future research and consider methods for encouraging intimacy-promoting processes among people with low self-esteem.