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   Meaningfully connecting with others is critical to the well‐being of individuals. What phenomena contribute to and stem from social connection? In this paper, we integrate emerging work that uses neuroimaging and social network analysis with theories that explore the links between shared reality and social connection. We highlight recent work suggesting that the extent to which people have aligned mental processing and shared subjective construals to those around them—as shown by neural similarity—is associated with both objective and subjective social connection. On the other hand, idiosyncrasies are linked to difficulties with social connection. We conclude by suggesting how the links between shared understanding and social connection can be productively used as a framework to study psychosocial phenomena of interest.

    

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   Theories such as social baseline theory have argued that social groups serve a regulatory function but have not explored whether this regulatory process carries costs for the group. Allostatic load, the wear and tear on regulatory systems caused by chronic or frequent stress, is marked by diminished stress system flexibility and compromised recovery. We argue that allostatic load may develop within social groups as well and provide a model for how relationship dysfunction operates. Social allostatic load may be characterized by processes such as groups becoming locked into static patterns of interaction and may ultimately lead to up-regulation or down-regulation of a group’s set point, or the optimal range of arousal or affect around which the group tends to converge. Many studies of emotional and physiological linkage within groups have reported that highly correlated states of arousal, which may reflect failure to maintain a group-level regulatory baseline, occur in the context of stress, conflict, and relationship distress. Relationship strain may also place greater demands on neurocognitive regulatory processes. Just as allostatic load may be detrimental to individual health, social allostatic load may corrode relationship quality.

    

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